谢谢胖师兄

哇,好久没写了!
今天突然想起胖师兄, 就特别写来送他的.

想来我们也认识很旧了.第一次见面在食堂的开会上,
那时我是懵懵懂懂的. 因为之前看了一部戏有提到他的名字, 所以很容易就记下来了. 哇哈哈!

第一次讲话在检讨会, 那时我在做梦. 后边也坐了两个不专心的人, 问我到底那些人在讲身什么. 原来就是之前那个在食堂的家伙. 再来是发现这伙人在讲着我在佛学会找的佛法, 我那时侯高兴死了! 我等了四年, 终于等到了!

那之后又发现他们喜欢在食堂讲话, 所以我就假假借东西啦, 还东西啦, 就这样混得比较熟后就开始挖宝. 果然不出所料, 挖到很多. 那写宝帮我渡过了很多难关. 真的, 没有他们, 今天我就可能不存在了.

那时候跟胖师兄混得比较熟, 当然什么都请教他. 我们俩也有很多相似的地方, 所以我自认为我们师兄妹的感情还不错. 就这样过了五年, 胖师兄教了我很多东西, 也让我更自信了.

最近旁师兄教了我一样很宝贵的道理, 真的让我的生命起了很大的变化, 当然也得感谢刺激我的旧朋友, 还有伟大的佛陀哟.

胖师兄要走新一条路了, 而在大学的我也改变了不少. 我也开始觉得胖师兄要让我独立了.

我也努力着要有自己的想法, 不能再一直依靠人了, 人终要长大.
我只是想让胖师兄知道我很感谢他, 谢谢他教了我那么多, 我会努力保持自己的.

想问胖师兄还记得我们的约定吗?

一起加油吧.

Lost

I am lost.

Where am I?
What I want in my life?
What I really need?
Am I prepared for everything?
Whay is the main aim I come to Penang?
Why I do not enjoy my studying?
Why I give up for my life?
Am Iweird,stupid and stubborn?
Am I still keep the first intention for Buddha and Dhamma?
Where should I go?
Where would I go?

Thank you ,all my beloved friends.

I like to ask questions ,many confusing questions.So in most of the time i will having problems to seek for the answer by myself.In that time ,i will go and start to disturb my friends with all these weird questions.(actually those questions will make people frustrated ,e.g interest or degree is more important?Can i continue studying without come out to the society and work?Using white or yellow light studying will be less harmful to my eyes?...)

Now do you feel want to give me a punch!!!Haha

Futhermore i am quite a pessimetive person . I always think about negative side for most of the time.I will start complaining ,trying to run away from the reality.Then i will go and telling my friends how pity i am ,blablabla...(a long time process ,will do it whenever i meet them ) "sms and msn attack" are the most frequently attack i have been used!

So now you all know being my friends is very hard ,have to withstand with me ,who is a crazy.I have to confess that i really having a quite unlikely character. So this passage i would like to addresed to my friends,especially my close friends.Thank you all for still being myside till this day and guide me along this journey.I will remember your till my last day.

Wish you all happy and healthy!(so that i can disturb you all again.;p)

I love you all ,my beloved friends, muacks.

Crossroad

These two weeks was the hardest time for me in this year...
I am just entering university ,but instead full with happiness ,i felt so sad for my life.
I just realise i am not suitable for the course that i take ,it was a hard reality.I felt so shocked when i know my course is teaching in malay for 3 years!

Now i am at the crossroads,lost in the way.Many people telling me that this is just the beginning ,i just cannot adapt to the environment."Why don't you just try first?"
But i understand my own feeling ,i am of the thought to leave the local university and try to learn chinese medicine(which my dream since long time ago) in china,or going on nursing course.
My major problem is i don't have that much money and disagreement from my father and all the people around me.People calling me insane ,how can i let go a university degree ,my future ,my career on this very beginning.

Nobody understand me ,i feel very happy when i can help others ,etc i saw a blind man in jetty today and i felt so sad i did not help him to walk through the very busy jetty
.
I don't want to waste 3 years taking something that i do not have much interest on it .

I am in the crossroad now ,can you help to give me some advices or support?


I will try my best to chase my dream ,please don't questioned my decision when you know i am not in the university...

Welcome !

Hai to all people that view my blog.I am working and using the office's computer now,this shows that i am quite a irresponsible worker ,hihi.I am not really good on using the computer or internet,but i know that i can express myself through the blog ,so i decide to open it.

I hope all the viewers willing to share and teach me.

I am not rise in english educated family ,so sometimes my sentences will have many grammatical errror ,so please kindly forgiving me for that.

I need to go now ,if not i will be fired!

Bye and hi !